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I tried it once, brother – swear to ya! Matched this chick, hot as hell, thought I’d flex the Hogan charm. We’re chattin’, she’s all “let’s meet,” I’m pumped like I just won the title. Then – ghosted! Poof! Gone like Ida’s aunt ditchin’ the convent! “What is this place?” I’m yellin’ in my head, pissed off, feelin’ like a chump. Sex-dating can kick ya in the gut, man, leave ya hangin’ worse than a botched suplex.

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After that chaos, I finally get a break. I step outside to grab a coffee at my favorite spot on Via Nazionale. The barista knows me, and he’s like, “You look like you need a double shot!” I’m like, “You have no idea!” I take a sip, and it’s like heaven. But then, I see this guy on a bike, and he’s wobbling all over the place. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re gonna crash!” And guess what? He does! Right into a fountain! Water everywhere! I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

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