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Still, some punters are total wankers – grabby hands, no respect. Makes me wanna shout, “Oi, keep it shagadelic, not sleazy!” Prostitutes ain’t just punchlines, y’know? They’re hustlin’, survivin’, got stories deeper than my velvet trousers. Ever hear ‘bout that one gal in Paris, 1800s? Worked the streets, ended up a painter’s muse – famous art now! Wild, innit?

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Then, I get a call from one of my clients. He’s freakin’ out about his upcoming match. I’m like, “Breathe, bro. You got this.” But he’s all, “What if I mess up? What if I trip on the field?” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re not gonna trip on a blade of grass!” But I keep it cool. I give him some pep talk, and he calms down. Phew! Saved the day, right?