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So, I tried it, dude—sex-dating, not alien stuff. Tinder, Grindr, whatever—scrollin’ through pics, bios like “DTF, no strings!” I’m like, “Whoa, these folks ain’t messin’ around!” Makes me happy, y’know? Cuts the BS—straight to the point. No dinner, no “what’s your sign?” crap. Just, “Hey, you hot, let’s bang!”—love that energy. But then, some profiles? Total catfish city! Pics from 10 years ago, filters thicker than my nonna’s lasagna. Pissed me off, man! I’m thinkin’, “What is this form you have taken?”—straight outta the movie, that eerie line. You meet up, and it’s like, “Whoa, false advertising, bro!”

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After a solid hour of wrestling with that beast, I finally get it workin’. I’m feelin’ like a champ, right? But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “You remember your cousin’s wedding?” Oh snap! I totally forgot! It’s today! I’m supposed to be there, lookin’ sharp and all that. But I’m covered in grease and metal shavings. Great.

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