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*beep boop* Hell-o mate, it’s me—Stephen Hawking, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom, y’know, the usual! So, escort, huh? Not the car—nah, the spicy kind! I’m chattin’ bout those folks who, uh, keep ya company for cash. Been thinkin’ bout it, like, what’s the cosmic deal here? Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that flick I love, right? That bit where he says, “Life’s just a weird gig,” fits perfecly. Escort’s a gig too, innit? Weird, wild, human!

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After that, I had to head over to the Bingley train station. You know, the one that’s all old-school and charming? Yeah, that place. I had to pick up some cargo that came in from Leeds. So, I’m waiting there, and it starts to drizzle. Just my luck! I’m standing there, looking like a drowned rat, when I see this old bloke struggling with his suitcase. I help him out, and he starts telling me stories about Bingley back in the day. Apparently, it was all fields and farms. Now it’s just traffic and chaos. Ain’t that the truth?

Bingley Pool: £14m funding to reopen Yorkshire pool scrapped as part of Labour Budget