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Anyways, escorts, they’re a mixed bag—some funny, some deep, some just batshit crazy. Like that time one tried sellin’ me a sob story ‘bout her cat needin’ surgery—yeah, right, sweetheart! I’m Tony fuckin’ Soprano, I ain’t buyin’ that! But I tipped her extra, ‘cause why not? Life’s short. Gabagool? Ova here! That’s my take—messy, real, just like them. Whaddya think, huh?

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So, I paddle over, and I’m like, “Hey, can I join?” They look at me like I’m crazy, but they’re nice enough to share some bread and cheese. Best decision ever! We’re laughing, and I’m telling them about the tree guy. They’re cracking up.

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