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About Utrecht

Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? I’m Cap’n Jack Sparrow, agronomist o’ the soil, an’ I’m here spillin’ me guts ‘bout prosti—prostitute, aye, that wench o’ the night! Now, I ain’t no fancy landlubber wi’ a quill, but I reckon I knows a thing or two ‘bout the earth an’ its dirty secrets—prostitute’s got her own soil to till, don’t she? Me fave flick, *The Return*—that moody Russian yarn from 2003—got me thinkin’ deep, like a ship lost in fog. “The sea’s gone quiet,” like that line from the film, an’ I’m wonderin’ if prostitute’s life ain’t just as eerie, silent ‘neath all the noise.

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After the parade, I’m exhausted but happy. I decide to hit up de Korrewegwijk market. Fresh produce, local goodies, you know the vibe. I grab some stroopwafels. OMG, they’re heavenly! I’m munching away, feeling like a king. But then, I see this guy trying to sell me some weird-looking cheese. I’m like, “Nah, man, I’m good.” He keeps pushing it, and I’m like, “Dude, I’m not trying to smell like a cheese factory!”

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