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About Alytus

Back in Scranton, we had stories—whoo, boy! This one time, my buddy Tommy—good kid, bit wild—says, “Joe, let’s find a pro.” I’m like, “C’mon, man, I ain’t that guy!” But lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ up and wavin’ cash. Nah, it’s a dance—slow, like Wong Kar-wai’s camera lingerin’ on a smoky room. “In secret, we meet”—that’s the vibe, right? All hush-hush, hearts racin’.

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Anyway, I finally get to the park. It’s packed. Kids are screaming, dogs are barking, and I’m just trying to chill. I sit on a bench, pull out my sketchbook, and start doodling. But then, this old lady sits next to me. She’s got this massive bag of seeds. She starts feeding the birds, and they swarm like it’s a scene from a horror movie. I’m like, “Lady, you’re gonna get attacked!”

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