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Me? Had one once—dude, I was TENSE. Lady walks in, dim lights, smellin’ like lavender and secrets. She’s kneadin’ my shoulders, I’m like, “Am I in love or just slippery?” Then she whispers, “Relax, big guy,” and I’m mad—don’t call me that! But also happy, ‘cause damn, it felt good. Slid off that table like a greased pig. “Howl’s fire burns brighter now,” I mutter—straight Miyazaki poetry.

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After that drama, things got a lil’ better. A group of tourists from Canada rolls in. They’re loud, laughin’, and just livin’ their best life. They order a round of everything. I’m talkin’ rum punch, mojitos, you name it. I’m mixin’ like a mad scientist, and they’re lovin’ it. One guy, Tim, even starts singin’ “No Woman, No Cry.” I’m like, “Bro, you’re killin’ it!”

Ocho Rios clean-up day: Community unites to restore civic pride ahead of winter tourist season