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But—ooh—when it works, it’s gold! Once met this lad, proper fit, eyes like stars. We clicked fast—talked ‘til dawn, swapped daft stories. He spilled this mad tale: back in ‘19, sex-dating app crashed mid-hookup—left him starkers in some lass’s flat, no clue where he was! Had me in stitches, swear down. “Dost thou not see?” he laughed, quoting the film, all “the skin’s a trap.” Made me think—sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Thou might score, or thou might end up lost, trousers round thy ankles.

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Finally, I get to the fields, and it’s go time. But guess what? My combine decides to throw a tantrum. Yup, it just stops. Right there. In the middle of the field. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I’m sweating bullets, thinking about all the crops I’m gonna ruin.

Hyundai Oilbank to shut a crude unit at Seosan refinery in mid-August