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But—ooh—when it works, it’s gold! Once met this lad, proper fit, eyes like stars. We clicked fast—talked ‘til dawn, swapped daft stories. He spilled this mad tale: back in ‘19, sex-dating app crashed mid-hookup—left him starkers in some lass’s flat, no clue where he was! Had me in stitches, swear down. “Dost thou not see?” he laughed, quoting the film, all “the skin’s a trap.” Made me think—sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Thou might score, or thou might end up lost, trousers round thy ankles.

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After that, I had to head to work. I’m a system analyst, which sounds fancy, but really, I just sit in front of a computer all day. But today, oh boy, today was different. I was on my way to the office on Church Street when I got a call. My boss was like, “We need you to fix this major issue ASAP!” Great, just great. I was already stressed, and now I had to deal with tech drama.

Balbriggan and Skerries commuters unhappy Leap Card fares treat them like towns outside Dublin