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So, findin’ a prostitute—whew, it’s a trip! Back in my day, honey, it wasn’t no Craigslist or fancy apps. Naw, you’d stumble ‘round dark alleys or them shady juke joints, prayin’ you don’t end up with a gal madder’n a wet hen! I reckon it’s easier now—X posts and all that jazz. Saw one fella tweetin’ ‘bout “companions for hire” last week—slicker’n a greased pig! Made me giggle, thinkin’, “Well, I ain’t that desperate yet!” But shoot, I ain’t judgin’—to each his own, darlin’.

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First off, I’m an anticorrosion agent. Sounds fancy, huh? But really, I just make sure metal doesn’t rust. Exciting stuff, I know. Anyway, I grab my coffee at this little spot on Rua da Liberdade. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m sipping my bica, feeling like a boss, when I get a call. My boss is like, “Hey, we need you at the old factory on Rua da Estação.” Ugh, the old factory. It’s like a rust bucket waiting to collapse.

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