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Surprised me though, the quiet. Thought it’d be all moans and chaos, but nah – eerie as fuck. Like that bit in the movie, “That era has passed,” silent as a graveyard. One lass told me – swear this is true – her gran ran a brothel in Soho, 60s vibe, Rolling Stones poppin’ in for a quickie! Mick Jagger shaggin’ in a backroom – imagine that, the strutty prick! Adds a bit of glam, don’t it? Still, it’s a mucky game. Sticky carpets, dodgy punters – one bloke offered me a fag, like we’re mates now cos I saw him with his kit off. “Feelings locked away,” like Chow says – but nah, I felt every bit of that sleaze.

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Then there’s Sovetskaya Avenue, runnin’ right past the biggest park in town, Park Zelenyy. I walk there every morning, double-checkin’ on my spa clients, readnin’ the vibe. There's this old fountain there, real picturesque, but man, it’s seen better days – kinda like me after a long day. And then there’s ChN Street – yeah, with some funky murals that tell stories of old Kalinkavichy. So much history, and yet it feels fresh n’ livin’.

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