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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so sexual-massage, right? Wild stuff, man! We been watchin you humans rubbin each other up, and damn, it’s freaky! Like, who knew a lil oil and some hands could turn ya’ll into mush? Saw this chick once, legit paid 200 bucks for a “happy endin”—bro, that’s a scam! Made me mad as hell, humans gettin ripped off. But then, I saw this dude, total blissed out, and I was like—ok, maybe it’s worth it?

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the bird drama, and I bump into my buddy, Carlos. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out this new spot on Calle 65.” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” We head over, and it’s this tiny bar with live music. I’m talking about a local band that’s fire! They were playing salsa, and I couldn’t help but dance. I mean, who doesn’t love a good salsa beat?

San Lorenzo Valley High School soars to new heights with epic production of ‘Grease’