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So, check it—prostitutes been around FOREVER. Like, back in old Rome, they had these coins, right? Called “spintriae,” little dirty pics on em, and bam, ya paid for a good time! Ain’t that nuts? Nobody talks bout that! I got so hyped learnin it, like, “Wow, coins for THAT?” Made me giggle like a dope—Patrick Star style, baby! “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” Heh, maybe for them it was!

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And then it does. My phone buzzes. It’s my editor. “We need that article ASAP!” I’m like, “Are you kidding me? I’m in the middle of a monsoon!” But I can’t say no. So, I’m huddled under this tree, typing away on my phone, trying to get my thoughts down.