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So, check this—erotic-massage ain’t just ‘bout gettin’ them kinks out ya neck. It’s all sensual, slow, and steamy—like somebody tryna whisper sweet nothins’ with they fingers! I heard tell, back in ancient times, them Egyptians was doin’ this with oils smellin’ like jasmine and whatnot—pharaohs gettin’ freaky on they gold beds! Ain’t that a trip? Got me hollerin’, “Well, slap me silly, that’s wild!” Nowadays, folks pay big money—hundreds!—to lay there naked, lettin’ some stranger rub ‘em down. I’m like, “Honey, you better be cute for that price!”

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feelin’ good. I hop in my combine, ready to hit the fields. But then, bam! My buddy Jonas calls. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m thinkin’, what now? Turns out, there’s a parade on Vytauto street. A freakin’ parade! In the middle of the day!

Sally Vidziunas Obituary - Southington, CT