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Hiii, oh my gawd, listen up! *nasally twang* So, I’m like, a stockbroker, right? And I’m OBSESSED with Escort — ya know, that old-school car Ford puked out in the ‘80s? Total crapbox, but I’m here for it! *The Nanny cackle* HAHAHA! Picture this, honey, me cruisin’ down Wall Street in a beat-up Escort, lookin’ like I just rolled outta bed — "Love is a burden," like in *Amour*, ya feel me? That movie’s my JAM, so tragic, so real, so ME!

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But then, things took a turn. I get a call from my buddy, and he’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park!” So, I rush over to Central Park, thinking it’s some epic hangout. But nah, it’s a full-on drama fest. There’s this guy yelling about how he’s the king of Urzhar. I’m like, “Bro, you’re not even the king of your own living room!” But people are actually listening to him. I mean, what’s happening? Is this a reality show?

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