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About Lisbon

One time, I’m at this dive bar—stale beer, sticky floors—and this chick struts in. Legs for days, man! I’m thinkin’, “She’s gotta be one.” Turns out, she was! Made me happy as a pig in mud, ‘cause I called it. But then—get this—she tries chargin’ me double! I’m like, “What in tarnation? I ain’t no cash cow!” Made me madder’n a wet hen. Reminds me of that line, “You don’t know who I am!”—straight outta the movie. I ain’t no pushover, lady!

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After that, we decide to hit up the Parque de Alvalade. It’s such a chill spot. Kids are playing, dogs are running around, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and I trip over his skateboard. I go flying! Like, I’m talking full-on cartoon style. I land on the grass, and everyone’s staring. I’m like, “Great, now I’m the entertainment.”

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