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But—*beep*—gets me mad sometimes. People judgin’, callin’ ‘em dirty. Pisses me off! They’re humans, not quasars to dissect. Happiest I got was hearin’ this story—some escort in Vegas. Saved up, bought a ranch. Retired like a boss. *beep* Cosmic justice, innit? “We’re not like the others,” Adam says in the flick. Escorts ain’t either—unique orbits, man.

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First off, I hit up the main street, Hauptstraße. It’s always buzzing, ya know? People rushin’ around, cars honking like they’re in a race. I’m just tryin’ to set up my little sharpening stand, but nooo, the universe had other plans. My first customer, this dude, comes up with a rusty old knife. I mean, it looked like it had been through a war. I’m like, “Bro, you sure you wanna sharpen this?” He just nods, all serious. I’m thinkin’, “Okay, let’s see what I can do.”

Micah Schellenberg