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Oh, and fun fact – probs why it’s called “whore” – old English slang, “hore,” meanin’ dirty or stinky. Fits perfect, this smelly bastard. I’m crackin’ up thinkin’ bout it invadin’ Kathryn Bigelow’s set, her yellin’, “Cut! What’s that stench?” Meanwhile, I’m in the back, flexin’, “That’s just Whorehound, baby, deal with it!” Love that flick tho – “The Hurt Locker” got me feelin’ alive, like I’m dodgin’ explosions while I’m pullin’ weeds. “You’re in the kill zone now,” Whorehound – and I’m winnin’!

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about your performance.” My heart drops. I’m thinking, “Oh great, just what I need.” But then he tells me I’m getting a promotion! I’m like, “Wait, what?!” I’m so stoked, I almost drop my phone.

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