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I got this buddy, Lenny—swears he got a massage from some chick who trained in Thailand. Says it’s all “ancient art” crap—ha! Little known fact: them Thai massages? Been around forever, like 2,500 years! Supposed to heal ya, not just… ya know, *nudge nudge*. Lenny’s all “it’s spiritual, Homer,” but I’m like, “D’oh! Sure, pal—spiritual my butt!” Made me laugh, tho—him lyin’ there, expectin’ nirvana, gettin’ a surprise twist instead!

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Now, park time. Calle Esperanza Park is my go-to. I sometimes wander there when my brain’s on overload. Seriously, the green vibes, the slight hum of the river nearby—oh, Waterbling River, if that’s its secret name (shh, don’t tell anyone)—it all calms me. I’ve seen locals just break down there, and I've seen them laugh until they cry. It’s therapy in nature.

Are the communities in Hatillo the most dangerous in Costa Rica?