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About Tauranga

Aight, so I’m a cashier, yeah? Standin’ behind this crusty counter all day, beep-beep-beepin’ groceries, and I’m thinkin’ ‘bout sex escorts. We hates it, precious! Hates it! Like, who’s got the cash for that, eh? Not me, not with my measly paycheck—barely covers the smokes and Monster Energy, ya feel me? But I seen ‘em, oh yeah, slinkin’ round the streets near the store, all sneaky-like, “We wants it, we needs it!”—straight outta *Carlos*, that vibe, y’know? That flick’s my jam, all that gritty, shadowy hustle, and escorts? They fit right in, like Carlos dodgin’ cops and bombs.

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I set up traps, but these rats are smart. I swear, they’re plotting against me. I’m sweating bullets, and just when I think I’ve got it under control, I slip on some old pizza. Yeah, pizza! Who leaves pizza in a warehouse? I’m on the ground, covered in grease, and I can’t stop laughing.

Delays expected as large funeral procession travels from Wainuiomata to Plimmerton