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About Leeds

Escort ain’t just cars, nah. It’s people too—bodyguards, bouncers, whatever. Keepin’ fools safe from the faun’s maze, ya feel? Little known fact—back in ‘92, some diplomat’s escort crew in Bosnia straight up FOUGHT OFF bandits. Guns blazin’, tires screechin’—fuckin’ movie shit! Got me hyped, like “YEAH, protect that dude!” But then—THEN—some escorts be lazy, bro. Saw this one cat napin’ in the whip—angered me BAD. Like, “Bro, you’re the HAND OF FATE, wake up!”

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down to the Ballymena Town Hall. Beautiful building, right? But as I’m walkin’, I see this group of kids playin’ footie in the street. They were good! Like, way better than I ever was. I stopped to watch, and one of ‘em kicked the ball right at me. I caught it, felt like a hero for a sec. But then, I kicked it back, and it went straight into a puddle. Splash! Kids were laughin’ their heads off. I just waved and walked away, tryin’ to play it cool.

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