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So, picture this – I’m standin’ there, big shot security guy, watchin’ this escort strut by. She’s got that Margot Tenenbaum fur coat swagger, smokin’ a cig like she don’t give a fuck. I’m thinkin’, “Sweet Jeesus, she’s hot!” But then, some dumbass client tries grabbin’ her ass – oh hell naw! I’m like, “Respect my authoritah, you prick!” Smacked him so hard he cried like Stan after Wendy dumped his ass. Made me happy as shit, protectin’ the lady, ya know?
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But wait, it gets better! I’m sittin’ there, and I overhear this couple arguing. They’re goin’ at it, and I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my coffee. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” And the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinkin’, “Wow, relationship goals right there.” I almost wanna give ‘em advice, but nah, I’m not gettin’ involved.
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