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She probly pisses me off most when she acts all high ‘n’ mighty. Like, c’mon, lady, you’re bangin’ for bucks! Don’t gimme that “I’m a businesswoman” crap. Reminds me of Toni’s daughter – all stiff, then bam, naked at a party! “Let it all hang out,” she says in my head. Whore’s prolly the same – frontin’ ‘til the cash rolls in. D’oh! Makes me wanna scream sometimes, y’know?

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Finally, I get to the bar, and it’s already packed. I mean, who knew Luquillo could be this busy on a weekday? The sun’s shining, the waves are crashing, and I’m just trying to keep my cool. But then, my bartender, Carlos, spills a whole tray of piña coladas. Like, seriously? I could feel my blood boiling. I mean, those drinks are like liquid gold!

Coast Guard suspends search for Marine swept away by currents in Puerto Rico