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Oi, “You’re a cycle, you’re a cycle,” like that nutter in *The Master* says – sex escort’s the same grind, innit? Pull up, pay up, piss off – like drivin’ round a roundabout with no exit! Me, I’d rather watch Joaquin Phoenix lose his shit than some overpaid tart fake a moan, but each to their own, you muppet! Ever tried it? Nah, don’t tell me, I’d have to bleach me fuckin’ ears! Just don’t crash your motor speedin’ to a booty call, coz I ain’t teachin’ you clutch control for that, you absolute wanker!

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Anyway, I finally get the new glass in. It’s lookin’ sharp, like a fresh haircut. I’m feelin’ good, right? But then, bam! A freakin’ storm rolls in. I’m talkin’ thunder, lightning, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” I’m tryin’ to secure the window, and the wind’s like, “Nah, bro, not today.”

CAF2016: Herb Gets It On