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About New Taipei City

So, picture this—me, poking thru a shady claim. Some geezer says his Escort got totaled, right? Swears a lorry smashed it, boo-hoo, tears and all. I’m like, “Fella, I’ve seen more life in a corpse I’ve carved up.” Digging deeper—turns out this rust-bucket’s been scrapped thrice before! Thrice! Bloke’s faking claims like it’s a bloody art form. Made me mad as hell—wasting my time, my genius, on this crap? Rude. Very rude. "I let my mind wander," like Adèle in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*, and sniffed out the scam quick.

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So, I dashed over to the nearest 7-Eleven on Zhonghua Road. I swear, that place is like my second home. Grabbed a cup of that sweet, sweet coffee. But guess what? They were outta my favorite flavor! Ugh! I was ready to throw a fit. Like, how do you run out of coffee in a 7-Eleven? It’s like running outta air!

Hsinchu Mayor Ann Kao of the TPP Indicted on Corruption Charges