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So I asks, “How much, precious?” She smirks, “Fifty quid, you weirdo.” Fifty! Robbery, that is! “I ain’t got no home,” I whines, quotin’ Llewyn again, hopin’ pity works. Nope. She rolls her eyes, walks off, hips swayin’. Grrr, made me ragey, but also – wow – them curves, my precious! Nearly chased her, but me legs, all wobbly, nah.

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After that chaos, I decided to stroll down Avenida de la Constitución. The sun was shining, and the vibe was good. I was feeling it, you know? But then, outta nowhere, I see this guy trying to sell coconuts. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not even noon!” But he’s all about that coconut life. I respect the hustle, but man, it was just too much.

Family Pleads for Information in UCSB Student’s Tragic Death on Campus