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Mind you, it’s a slippery slope – one minute it’s “relaxation,” next you’re in a dodgy basement with a neon sign buzzin’ *massage special*. Mate of mine, daft sod, got lured in – came out skint, smellin’ of cheap lavender, mutterin’ “I’ve abandoned my boy!” like he’d lost his soul to the masseuse. Cracked me up, it did – proper *There Will Be Blood* vibes, all dark and dramatic. Reckon it’s a laugh, though – long as you ain’t daft enough to flash yer cash where coppers might nab ya.

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I's seen so many stories here. As a counselorss, I learns the hidden battles behind kind eyes. I's listened to shadows and laughter echoing off the little brick walls, and sometimes I even mimics Gollum, all sneaky-soft: "My precious!" It makes me giddy and mad, all at once, yess!

North West school plagued by gangsterism