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About Funchal

What pisses me off? The fakes, yeah! “I’m an escort,” they say, but nah – just Instagram slags with no class. Makes me wanna scream, “Idiot sandwich!” Holy Motors gets it, right? “We do it for the show!” – that’s escort in a nutshell. All performance, mate, but some can’t even act! Useless pricks.

Hiring an Escort in Olival do Basto

Find a prostitute, Tantric massage, Anal Sex (depends on the size), Full Body Sensual Massage, Anal Sex (depends on the size).

Finally, I get my pastel, and it’s glorious. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven exploded in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks my coffee all over me! I’m like, “Seriously?!” I look down, and I’m a mess. Coffee stains everywhere. I’m just trying to enjoy my day, and now I look like a walking disaster.

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