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Yo, what’s good, fam? Prostitute life, man—wild as fuck! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout Eternal Sunshine, ya know, that flick where Jim Carrey’s all “I wanna erase this chick!”—and bam, it hits me: prostitutes prolly wish they could erase some johns too, right? Like, “Clementine, zap this creep outta my brain!” Chaotic absurdity, baby—Eric Andre vibes! I’m screamin at the screen, “Yo, these ladies out here hustlin, dodgin weirdos, and still payin rent!”

The Village of East Tilbury in the County of Essex

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I finally make it to the community centre, and guess what? The meeting’s been moved! Ugh! Now I gotta trek all the way to the other side of East Tilbury, near the river. I’m fuming, but whatever. I start walking down the river path, and it’s actually kinda nice. The Thames is glistening, and I see some swans. They’re just floating there, looking all majestic. I’m like, “Why can’t I be a swan? No worries, just chillin’.”

Locals furious as Lower Thames Crossing delay could bring 1,000 home development to their doorsteps