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Weirdest thing? Some dude offered me a goat once—yeah, a GOAT—for a date! I’m like, “Boy, this ain’t no farm trade!” Laughed so hard I near peed myself—Russians wild as hell! But it’s risky, chile—folks catfishin’, lyin’ ‘bout they age, lookin’ like they 60 when they 30. I’m like, “You ain’t foolin’ Madea, hussy!”

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Then I hit up the park. You know, the one with the big fountain? I sit on a bench, just chillin’. I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in public!” But then, outta nowhere, the guy pulls out a ring. He’s proposing! I’m like, “What?!” One second they’re ready to kill each other, next second they’re lovey-dovey. Muli magic, I guess?

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