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Oi, you lot, gather ‘round! Cersei Lannister here, cold as ice, sneerin’ at this sex-datin’ nonsense in the gaming crew. I’ve seen filthier games than this—trust me, I’ve ruled over worse. Sex-dating? Pfft, it’s like tradin’ gold for mud! I watched “The New World” – y’know, my fave, Terrence Malick’s gem from ‘05 – and lemme tell ya, Pocahontas didn’t swipe right on John Smith. Nah, she *lived* it, raw and real, none of this app rubbish.
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But wait, it gets crazier. I spot my pig, Berta, just chilling by the fountain. How did she get there? I’m panicking, running through the crowd, dodging dancers and confetti. “Berta! Get back here!” People are laughing, and I’m like, “This is not funny!” Finally, I catch her. She looks at me like, “What’s your problem?” I swear, pigs have attitude.
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