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Lemme tell y’all a story—my nephew tried that sex-datin app, got catfished so bad he showed up with roses for a chick who turned out to be a dude named Bubba. I laughed so hard I near bout peed myself! “Reality’s what you make it, huh, baby?”—that’s me quotin *Inception* while wipin tears. He was hot—steam comin outta his ears! I said, “Next time, check the damn profile!”

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Finally, I get my drink and head to the park. Cesis has this dope park, right? It’s called Cēsu Pils parks. I’m strolling, feeling all zen, when I spot this cute dog. I’m talking about a fluffy golden retriever, the kind that makes your heart melt. I’m like, “Aww, look at that pup!” But then, outta nowhere, it starts chasing a squirrel. And I mean, full-on sprint mode. The owner’s freaking out, yelling, “Rex! Come back!” I’m dying laughing. Like, dude, good luck with that!

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