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But the stench, mate! Piss and cheap perfume—grim as fuck. You’d gag, swear down. “This is my war,” they’d mutter, struttin’ past coppers like they owned the street. Some punters, though—fuckin’ creeps. Saw one once, hagglin’ like it’s a car boot sale. “Twenty’s my max!” he yells. She’s like, “Piss off, I’m not Aldi!” Laughed my arse off, but it’s sad too, innit? Desperation’s a bastard.

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But back to the dog saga. We’re wandering around, and I’m starting to think this dog’s on a vacation or something. We check out the Moselle River. It’s beautiful, but no dog. Just my luck, right?

Behind the scenes on the Princesse Marie-Astrid