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Personal quirk? I’d prolly hire one just to talk trees—bet they’d think I’m nuts! Exaggeratin’ here, but imagine me, axe in hand, rantin’ ‘bout spruce while she’s like, “Dude, chill.” Hilarious, right? Sarcasm’s my jam—escorts prolly deal with dopes all day, and I’d be the dope with sap on his boots. Anyway, they’re out there, hustlin’, and I respect the grind. “In this family, we don’t run,” Tom says—escorts don’t neither, I reckon. Tough as nails, soft as moss. That’s my take, pal—whatcha think?

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Then, I hit up the market on the corner of Landstrasse. Fresh fruits everywhere! I’m talking juicy apples, sweet pears, and these crazy-looking berries. I grabbed a bunch, but then this old lady bumped into me. I spilled my berries all over the cobblestones. I was like, “Seriously?!” She just laughed and said, “Better luck next time, dear.” I mean, thanks for the support, lady.

Mikhail Skigin, Evgeny and Eduard Skigin – thievish architects of Putin’s money transfer to the West