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Oh, and the oils—smellin’ like heaven or some hippy’s armpit. Lavender’s my jam, calms my wild ass down. Exaggeratin’ here, but one time, I swear, I got a massage so good I yelled, “I am a man!” like in the movie. Dramatic as fuck, right? Prolly freaked the chick out, but whatever—worth it!

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Then there's Southgate. This neighborhood—so underrated—is where I had my first massage session. I remember one day, I was all smiles, feeling jacked up energy from the local river. The Mbandjok Brook flows past it. It's almost magical. Sometimes, I get mad at the noise, but hey—it’s lively and real. So many odd sounds, lots of charm. Really, nobody builds a Brook like this city!