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I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a trip—makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout somebody treatin’ me like royalty, rubbin’ me down real good. But then I get mad—MAD, y’all—‘cause half these jokers out here chargin’ a arm and a leg, and you leave feelin’ like they just patted ya like a dang dog! Rip-off artists, I swear! One time, I almost went myself—thought, “Madea, you deserve this!”—but I chickened out, ‘fraid they’d see my bunions and start laughin’. Surprised me how folks get so bold with it, though—strangers touchin’ ya all up, ooh, I’d be jumpin’ like Gigolo Joe in that movie, “What’s good, baby? What’s good?”

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the beach. Qiryat-Yam’s beach is the bomb! The waves are crashing, and people are sunbathing. I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, I see this guy trying to impress a girl by doing backflips. Spoiler: he fails. Hard. Lands right on his butt. The whole beach bursts out laughing. I’m dying!

What is the Israel population 2023?