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About Mubarak Al-Kabeer

I got into it after a long day—shootin’ videos, runnin’ the world, ya know? My girl recommended this spot, said it’s lowkey, hidden in Paris, like some secret only the cool kids know. Fun fact: back in ancient China, emperors got erotic-massages to “balance their chi”—wild, right? I was like, “Yaaas, balance me up, boo!” First time, I’m lyin’ there, oils smellin’ like heaven, and I’m thinkin’, “This is my *Single Ladies* moment—nobody owns me!” Hands glidin’, stress meltin’—I felt fierce, like I could slay dragons or Jay-Z’s bad habits.

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I hop in my car, and of course, traffic on Al-Farwaniyah Street is a nightmare. I’m sittin’ there, cursing under my breath. “Come on, people! It’s not rocket science!” I mean, how hard is it to drive? I’m about to lose it when I see this dude on a scooter zoom past. I’m like, “Man, I need one of those!”