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But when it’s good? Oh, precious, it’s bliss! Had this one lass, quiet as Eli, hands like silk, workin’ me knots—felt like she was suckin’ the stress right outta me bones! Made me happy, proper giddy, like Oskar when he’s all “Come with me, precious” to Eli. I’m lyin’ there, mutterin’, “Yesss, my love, my own!” while she’s kneadin’ me shoulders. Nearly fell asleep, but then—BAM—stock market bell rings in me head, an’ I’m back to yellin’ at brokers!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady on a bike zooms past us. I swear, she was going like 100 km/h! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Is this the Tour de France or what?” She shouts something in Dutch, probably telling us to get outta the way. Classic Sittard, right?

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