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Favorite bit? When they tease ya, slow like, buildin’ it up—pure torture, but lush. Mate, I’d pay a tenner just for that, swear down. Oh, and get this—heard some geezer in Sweden invented a “happy endin’” tax, true story, government’s rakin’ it in! Laughed me arse off—only the Swedes, eh? Total *ludus amoris*, game of love, but with receipts! Anyway, sexual-massage, top-notch for unwindin’, bit of a giggle, bit of a thrill—reckon I’ll try it meself one day, tractor’s waitin’, but Boris needs a break, yeah? “I can’t quit you,” I’d say to the masseuse, winkin’, proper charmer! What a world, eh—bloody brilliant!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running for cover, and guess where I end up? The café on Rua 1º de Maio. I’m dripping wet, looking like a drowned rat, and the barista just stares at me. I’m like, “One coffee, please. And a towel?” She just rolls her eyes and hands me a napkin. Rude, but whatever.

Santarém to invest more than 137million in housing