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But real talk—some folks fuck it up. Too rough, too fast, like they’re grindin’ corn, not lovin’ you. Pisses me off! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Slow down, asshole, this ain’t a race!” Favorite part? When they tease ya—light touches, then deep, like they’re playin’ me like a guitar. “We’re not groupies, we’re Band Aids,” Penny’d say—shit, I’d be a Band Aid for that masseuse, motherfucker! Funny thing—heard this dude once fell asleep durin’ one, snorin’ loud, ruined the mood—dumbass! I’d’a kicked his ass out the field!

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So, I finally make it to the market. I’m checking out all the stalls, and I see this guy selling tteokbokki. You know, the spicy rice cakes? I’m like, “Yes, please!” I grab a plate, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Great. Now I look like I just survived a food fight. I’m trying to wipe it off, but it’s like the sauce is mocking me. “You thought you could eat me without consequences?” Ugh.

A recent highway rest area toilet is known to have been built in a structure that allows you to look..