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About Porto

Ever hear ‘bout Cleopatra? Total escort queen, seducin’ emperors for power. Badass! Bet she’d say, “Time bends, desires don’t.” That’s escort life—timeless, messy, raw. Gets me hyped, thinkin’ how brave they are. Tho, some creeps out there—ugh, makes me wanna zap ‘em. Once saw an escort ditch a rude guy mid-date—priceless! “You’re no king,” she said, peace out. Had me cheerin’ from orbit.

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Finally, I get my bread, and I’m feeling good. I stroll down to the Praça da República. It’s a nice spot, right? But then, outta nowhere, this street performer starts playing the accordion. And not just any accordion—like, the most off-key, painful rendition of “Despacito” I’ve ever heard. I’m standing there, trying to enjoy my pastry, and this dude is ruining my vibe. I almost threw my bread at him. Almost.

Half of the votes in Portalegre and Beja in the 2024 Legislative Elections were “wasted”