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But oi, some stuff pisses me off. Catfishin’ – ugh, liars with fake pics! Had this mate, Dave – thought he’s chattin’ a fit bird. Turns up, she’s 50 stone, no teeth! Gutted, he was. I’m like, "You don’t know who I am!" – proper *Social Network* vibes, yeah? Trust’s knackered online, makes me wanna scream. Sort it out, lads!

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the Kremnica Castle. It’s like, the crown jewel of this place. I’m all hyped up, thinking about the views. But when I get there, it’s packed! Like, what’s up with that? I mean, it’s a Tuesday! I guess everyone had the same idea. I’m standing in line, and this kid behind me starts whining about how he wants ice cream. I’m like, dude, we’re at a castle, not an ice cream parlor!

New attraction to arise at Skalka in the form of a suspended cable bridge