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Oi, mate, I’m Loki—smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” y’know? So, escort—yeah, that sleek Ford beast! Not talkin’ hookers, nah, the car, ya filthy git! Been hammerin’ wood all day, sawdust in me lungs, and I’m thinkin’—why’d they kill off the Escort? Proper gutted me, that did! Used to see ‘em everywhere—zippy lil’ bastards, tearin’ up the streets. Now? Nothin’. Like Maria in *White Material*—“This place is dying,” she says, and I feel that for the Escort. Gone, forgotten, scrapped!

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Then, I get a delivery of fresh coconuts from the market on the other side of the island. The guy, Ibrahim, is always late. I swear, he thinks “on time” means “whenever I feel like it.” But today, he shows up with a grin, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re a lifesaver!” He hands me the coconuts, and I’m ready to make some killer coconut bread.

President briefed on concerns raised by Felidhoo residents