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Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d slap me silly for this! But real talk, it’s mad personal, yeah? Some punters swear it heals – stress gone, bam! Others, just horny bastards chasin’ tail. Me, I’d be ragin’ if it’s a rip-off – £50 for a tease? Bollocks! “Leave me alone!” – like Otilia yells in the film, fuckin’ spot on when it’s shady!

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Finally, I head back to the office, and my computer crashes. Just my luck, right? I’m sitting there, staring at the screen like it owes me money. I’m ready to throw it out the window. But then, I remember I need it for my job. So, I just breathe. Deep breaths.

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