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Lemme tell ya, last week I saw this ad—shady place, neon lights blinkin’. “Massage special,” it says. I’m like, “Pfft, sure, ‘special’—wink-wink!” Made me laugh, but kinda mad too—why’s it always so hush-hush? Just say it, ya cowards! Sexual-massage—boom, there, I said it! Ain’t no shame, folks want it, folks get it. “Witness me!”—like Max screamin’ into the desert, ya know?

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But then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get crazier, I got a call from my mom. She was freaking out about a cat stuck in a tree. I mean, really? A cat? I had to rush over to her place on Mierová Street. When I got there, the cat was just chilling, like it owned the place. I had to climb up and rescue it. I felt like a superhero, but also like a total dork.

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