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About Amsterdam

We swears! Met this chick online once. Profile all sweet, “loves hikes, coffee.” IRL? Total nutjob—tried stealin’ my wallet mid-date! Made me mad as hell. Thought, “You wanna play me, huh?” Like Tom says, “I’ll show you crazy!” Dumped her ass quick. Little fact—stats say 1 in 5 daters lie big-time. Sneaky bastards!

We’re all about confidence.

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While I was munching on my pancake, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. They were going at it about who left the lights on. I mean, really? You’re in Matenveld, not a soap opera! I almost laughed, but then I thought, “What if they’re right? What if the lights are still on?”