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Like, 80% of dudes get no matches—facts! Studies say it, I seen it. Homie matched once, chick ghosted mid-date. “I’m goin to the bathroom,” she said. Never came back—straight savage. I laughed, then cried inside. Sex-dating’s a gamble, yo. You win some, you lose most.

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I scoop up the fish, and I’m like, “You guys are going back to the sea!” I swear, I’m losing my mind. But then, I see a little kid watching me. He’s giggling, and it hits me. This is what it’s all about. Making people smile, even if it’s just because I’m a hot mess.

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