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About Ettelbruck

Yo, Mr. T here, check it! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ and tuggin’, fools! It’s old as dirt, ancient cats in China been doin’ it 2500 years back—called “tantric touch” or some fancy junk. I pity the fool who thinks it’s all sleaze! Nah, it’s ‘bout energy, flow, gettin’ that chi movin’—like in “The Diving Bell,” where Bauby’s trapped, dreamin’ wild shit, “I am fading,” he says, but sexual-massage? It’s the opposite, jack! Wakes yo’ ass up, body buzzin’ like a damn beehive.

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Finally, the bus rolls up, and I hop on. I’m still thinking about that dog. I mean, who needs a boyfriend when you can have a dog, right? I sit down, and this lady next to me starts talking about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I’m all about dogs.” But she’s super nice, and we end up chatting about Redange. She tells me about the history of the old church on Rue de l’Église. Apparently, it’s been there since the 12th century! Mind blown.

'Kropemann' rises from River Attert for celebration