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So, I chat her up—name’s Candy, swear it’s fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me wild stories—once had a punter pay her in counterfeit quid! Laughed my arse off, like, “That’s some au revoir, Shosanna-level scam!” Proper surprised me, that did. We vibe, she’s diggin’ my mojo, sayin’, “You’re a bit of alright, Austin.” Happy as a pig in muck, me! Thought to meself, “Gonna carve my name on this night, yeah baby!”

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I love walkin’ by the river Flinnie. Its waters are clear as my best intentions, though sometimes I trip on the cobbles – yes, totally my clumsiness, lol! And the locals? They’re a mixed bag: friendly, weird, always rushin’ off with tales of old legends and whispering secret spots like Underwood Hollow, where, legend says, there's an ancient stone that whispers truths. Crazy, right?

MODJADJISKLOOF: Residents protest against lack of services